You too nowadays you canāt stop yourself from scrolling as crazy? As I couldnāt resist, Iāve tested few ideas that Iāve slides for you in 6 super-easy steps which should help yourself be more aware.
Step 1, back to basis: Letās forgive ourselves. š
Learning to forgive ourselves when we felt into Ā« easy Ā» mode like scrolling unstoppably or filling our shopping basket with unnecessary items – no this will not help you cook/look/be better, I see you – is crucial to start with.
Just put down your mobile. Inspire, expire, understand what youāre doing. And if youāre brave enough, hide it for few minutes.
Try to understand the emotion youāre feeling when you do such a thing. For me, itās all about running against uncertainty and fill out whatever itās missing in that moment.
Step 2, the hardest: Letās face ourselves š
Start to get a sens of the why. Why do you take your phone now, why spending your time on this practice instead of something where you could value yourself differently.
Iām scrolling as I donāt want to think to the future, especially presently. Will I be able to insure my previous financial outcomes? For how long? Will I be able to find a new job matching my inspirations? Am I credible enough? (Of course!) Am I worth it? (Hell Yeah!)
Hence of course we are overwhelmed by insecurity and all those anxiety thoughts that we want to avoid. And scrolling is a kind of getaway gesture. As is zapping. We think – hope – something new is about to come. A good news, a friend message, a great TV program. And so, without thinking about it, we spend hours on Instagram or other (social) media.
But, hey, this is so normal. Donāt blame yourself too much. As human we hope for something that is not about to arrive and still hope it will. And since we lack of confidence (in ourselves, in the future, in others, name it), we fill our shame of not facing the reality by using that kind of getaway gesture. And of course, we are even more ashamed of ourselves. Quite like the infinite snake.
Step 3, the most caring one: we love ourselves š
So stop this bad circle right now and hug yourself. Slap your shoulder with proud and love – do it right now, Iām waiting. Nope, youāre not stupid, just practicing self care. Now smile to you. Congrats! No one else can do it for you, even if you wish for it. (Tough, I know, I have hard times with this too).
Loving ourselves is not an easy task. Iāve read somewhere that you can do a success list. What ever youāve success in your previous work, in your past, at work, home, itās only for you anyway.
Start with 5 items on your list. It is hard, especially if your doubt. But hey, I know you can make it! I also know you havenāt find a cure against COVID-19, but we donāt care here. We care about YOU. Think of this time you got a salary increase, this great meal everyone is talking about, that moment where youāve run more than youāve thought you would, and already that youāre running (I canāt), etc. Whatever it is, itās amazing because itās yours!
Is your list done now? Next time you doubt, check it out, smile, slap your shoulder with proud and go ahead. Oh and of course next time youāre catch yourself scrolling and need some self love.
Step 4, the most relaxing one: we take a break š§āāļøš§āāļø
Inspire and Expire. Weāve outdone ourselves in facing the hardest. And by being caring with ourselves we congrats us for doing the 3 first steps. You needed faith and courage to do so. So now letās turn to the future, with understanding of the present and the past.
In such incertain times, being caring with ourselves is reflecting on others. Indeed, with more self love, you love other better as you can respect them better too.
And during that break, donāt think about your grocery list, the meal to prep (unless you are cooking for pleasure of course š), to house cleaning or to the kids school work. Just think about YOU.
Step 5: the most motivated one: And, Action! šŖ
Now that you know you are worth it and you understand the reason behind your practice, trick your mind. Wait what? Oh you read me well: when you want to change habits, you want to change a habits with a new chosen one, to avoid other compulsive issues. You want to keep doing things with understanding.
Iāve tried several things to take some distance myself. Reading, but when youāre not focus enough itās hard. Learning, same issue, my mind is blowing too fast in those moments. But truth is, thatās the key. Knowing we can. Understanding that what ever happened to you, you can go back on your feet. In my case, getting fired.
The easiest methods of all: the pomodoro technique. All you need it a timer on 25 minutes and start focus on what you want without doing anything else. And itās totally doable. Iāll detail how in a future post.
Step 6: we just accept to start over š
Look I know itās not pleasant to read but you will do it again. Itās human. But donāt take it as fate, donāt blame yourself, itās not worth it.
The mĆ©ditation guru said that when you are meditating we of course have thoughts coming and to which we stick as glue. Without really thinking about it, weāre following them and next thing you realise while breathing in and out is why the hell youāve forgot to call your mom. But they tell you to go back to your breath and let it go. And so is it with getaway habits.
So just take good notice of it. Accept to do it but know in full understanding of the situation. So ok, I am now scrolling / zapping / compulsively shopping. Is this something I really want? Need? Like? Without starting like Marie Kundo, just understand if what youāre doing is something you like.
Because yes, you can scroll if this is what you want. Just make sure you do it again, with purpose.
And thatās the biggest difference with Step 1. You now know. So up to you to start one or more of this topic steps and do what you need for you.
You might face you need more help you thought, thatās ok. So donāt hesitate to ask a friend or a specialist who will be able to guide you, maybe thereās something deeper to explore. There is nothing bad to ask for help, itās in contrary something you should be proud of.
On that note, excuse me, Iāve just seen a notification popping out, let me have a look. š
